Letting Go

A poem I have written sometime ago (during my college years, 2000)

Letting GO

Sometimes, I wish we'd never met...
sometimes, i wish, things were easy to forget..
i wish i had to look the other way,
i wish i knew then what to say...

why did our paths have to meet?
why did you have to be so sweet?
why did my feelings have to grow?
and now, why do i have to let it go..

i hate myself for always thinking of you,
i hate myself for longing to be with you,
i hate myself for dreaming of things
which would never come true,
and i hate myself for suppressing this feeling for you...

you don't seem to see the little things i do,
and it only leaves me feeling blue..
you leave me hanging in the air,
trying to figure out if you really cared...

i'm not sure how you feel,
and i don't know if what you show is real,
sadly i realize, magic spells aren't true, you see..
and miracles never did happen to me...

So 'd rather take my heart back
while it is still beating
and save my heartbeats while i still can
before it finally gets out of hand..

so please don't blame me for the way i act,
i guess i haven't accepted the fact...
i know now that it's silly to wish you near,
but i wish you would have known,
that my emotions were real..

thanks for the time, thanks for the attention,
thanks for the things that i thought was affection,
i hope you remember me once in a while,
and wherever you go, always show your smile..

to let you go is not easy but i can try
but to say, i can forget you is a big big lie,
for no matter what i say,
and no matter what i do,
i know that i have to let you go,
even if i don't want to.